Epic Failure
by RandomDustBunnyzAngel
Summary: 499 parooody type thing!..I lack the skills for a horrible joke right now


**Well how many people expected THAT when they started reading this weeks chapter? unn. Kyuubi looked pregnant!, oh and Naruto appears to be the Sage Of Six Paths or is protected by him, which is CRAP if you ask me, but then again, no one asked me =3=..Nyu**

**WARNINGS: Foul language, Shortness.**

**PAIRINGS: ...Does Mother Son moments count?.No I don't think so**

**Thankies to QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner, Yuti-Chan, Zsadist Cortel (for the fav), Roiyaru Ookami, Princess Zathura, and OctobersAutumn...Did I forget anybody?**

**I don't own NARUTO, Masashi Kishimoto does. I don't own Fu-Pictionary, and I don't own Jiraiya's (sp?) part in the heaven segment, OctobersAutumns idea ^-^.**

**Ps: This chapter takes Crap-tastic-ness to a whole 'nother level.**

Naruto and the Kyuubi faced each other both eagerly watching the others movements, waiting for the chance to strike.

'_I feel so...At peace' _Beautiful Naruto keep going!, I just know this is going to end epically!

'_Damn you Kushina' _The kyuubi thought as he watched the chains of chakra receed into his blond host -I think-, pulling his Chakra along with them.

"My chakra can't hold him down for long! This is your chance to take him out!," Kushina pumped her fist.

Or a more likely situation, Just seal him away again.,.You know this could use something! -*plays fighting music*-

"Right!,Shadow clone Jutsu!" Naruto made hand signs and summoned hundred of copies.

Cosplayers unite!

"Accursed child!," the demon pulled his chains, breaking them as the clones charged full steam ahead.

I play chicken with the train...Sorry

"OPEN WIDE!," the clones chorused, hearing the Kyuubi let out a fierce growl/bark/howl, didn't know that was possible but okay, "RASENGAN BARRAGE!," Yet another freaking Rasengan techinique! My goodness someone shoot me.

Kyuubi swiped a paw sending most of the clones flying backwards, "Don't get dizzy!," Why are there so many exclamation points this chapter?

'_I've still got one left!,' _Kushina pulled the last remaining chain that was wrapped around the demons leg sending him crashing to the ground, Cause that makes sense.

"GOTTCHA!," red rings (I like red better than orange) formed around the clones eyes, and large chakra balls appeared in each of their hands.

I didn't know you could enter Sage mode in your own mind! that's so cool/stupid.

"SAGE ART=NONSTOP GARGANTUAN RASENGAN BARRAGE!," FUCK NOT ANOTHER ONE!

Naruto's clones pulled Kyuubi's stringy chakra thingies, and the real Naruto used Rasengan Shuriken as a balance wait, "PULL!," he instructed.

The large mass of chakra was slowly inched to the Gennin and was sucked into his body.

So the fights over now right?

A string of tomoe formed around his neck along with some swirly patterns.

Kami-damn it

"DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY NARUTO! You wouldn't like me when I'm angry," (I luv the Hulk ^.^)The nine-tails picked his head up and concentrating his..tail power I guess, into a giant black ball of evilness.

"Man you really are something else," Naruto placed a hand on his seal and opened it.

Eleven giant pillars fell onto the fox, trapping his tails, his neck and his torso. Immobilizing him completely, '_This is...The sage of six paths'_

Wh-Just forget it

"I won't forget this Naruto," The lock on the Kyuubi's cage swirled shut, locking him in his usual confines.

'_Nine tails..I'm sorry. But I can't hurt you. Just wait,' _ The markings around the ninja's eyes faded, signaling the end of the fight.

Wait that was it?...Your a bunghole Naruto, a kitty-cat bunghole! I hope you fall down a hole and get eaten by star fish!

"You did it Naruto!," Kushina cheered, yeah not really.

"yeah." Naruto mumbled, "So mom are you-,"

"Now I can follow after Minato," Ouch Punch him in the gut why don't'cha, "But first there's one last thing I need to tell you," meaning there's one more twist Kishi thought of at the last second, "Naruto...I want you to know the truth behind the incident 16 years ago."

"Truth?," That's my line.

"I..Was the previous nine tails Jinchuuriki." Dunnn Dunnn dun dun dun duuuuuuuuuun I KNEW IT!~_(1)_

**(With Kisame)**

The scales of Samehada clicked together at the motion of Killerbee's cheering.

Inside of the demon shark sword, Kisame's beady eyes blinked, as he listened to the muffled voices of the eight tails and the ex ANBU member Yamato.

He wasn't listening because he cared about the conversation, he was listening because he was bored, and who wouldn't be ,he's been in there for a REALLY long time.

As a matter of fact, how are you still alive?, are you feeding off chakra or are you just starving yourself, cause that's not good you know.

"Shut up," The shark man wheezed, his throat dry from lack of water.

Well don't get mad at me, you're the one that hasn't made a move yet, seriously how long are you going to be in there?.

"As long as it takes," '_Look at me I'm talking to a voice in my head'_

Yeah right, Kishi's probably forgotten all about you, you're never getting out of there might as well write your Will, I want Samehada or your head band I'd be happy with both, I mean either.

"you're NOT getting Samehada," Kisame growled, "I'll take her to my grave before I let you get your grubby little hands on her,"

Dude she already cheated on you, humping another guys leg, she's a whore sword and you know it.

"She is not a whore she was just confused!,"

Oh yeah, then how come I saw Killerbee sharpening her scales yesturday?

"YOU DID NOT SEE THAT!," The mist nin whispered harshley, "You need to learn how to spell,"

I know, but now I want a Hershey bar.

**(In heaven)**

Sitting amongst the clouds, bored out of their minds, where our favorite dead people, gathered around a game board playing one of the games invented by the devil himself.

"I-I don't know," Kushina shrugged, examining the picture Minato had drawn.

'_...It's a few!,' _the blond thought scratching his head with a golf pencil, then it clicked she had nothing to contrast the three circles he had drawn, he pulled back the paper and added seven circles to the parchment beside the others.

The magenta's eyes lit up, giving Minato the assumption that they were on the path to victory, "GRAPES!," she shouted.

The yellow flashes head dropped, '_Well they do look like grapes'_

"My turn!," Hidan picked up a small cardboard card, '_Dry...How do you fucking draw that?'_

"Hey whitey hurry up," His partner for this game, Danzo, ordered.

Well aren't you being a fine kettle of fish this evening?

The elder ignored the voice and watched his partner draw a squiggly line, a few water dropplets and a circle with a slash through it, "No water," he said.

The Jashinist blinked and made a bridging motion, go on Danzo take the concept further, walk over the bridge your close!

"No water," Danzo repeated.

Hidan shook his head, '_Is this guy retarded?'_

"No water,"

_'Fuck what's happening?,'_ Dunno.

"Draw something else!," The scar chin noticed the timing glass was emptying fast, "Draw something else, draw something else, draw something else, draw something else, draw something else, draw something else, draw something else,"

Did we get transported to a Pictionary Rave or something?

Unable to come up with any new idea's HIdan traced over his pre drawn image harder creating darker lines, having a mental breakdown as he did it _'Fuck if I could draw something else don't you think I would?, I'm losing my mind in this place I wanna stab myself in the eye with the golf pencil!'_

...Where's Jiraiya?

Everyone -aside from the Silvered haired Religious man who was foaming at the mouth- Shrugged.

**At the bath house**

"Ohhh hoo hooo, what a pretty lady miss Mikoto is!," The sannin wiggled in his place behind some oddly placed bushes.

"Hey old man what are you doing?," Jiraiya turned and saw the woman he thought he was peeping on standing behind him with he hands on her hips.

"Wh-uh-then who's?,"

Mikoto laughed, "Well would you look at that it appears my Son has an admirer!,"

*thud*

"Whoops it appears I've said too much,"

**0o0o0o0o0oo**

_(1). No joke I did see that coming, but it only clicked when Kushina said 'The truth'. Fear my super late prediction skills!_

**(QUESTION!: Have I been spelling Jiraiya wrong?, cause I was half way through writing the heaven scene and I noticed the spelling..)**

**Me: *Ish brain dead after dealing with summer school exam* I likes pie unn, Ha haha *wobbles* *Holds up chewed up pencil***

**Mint: O.O Exams are scary.**

**Akila: I'm happy I'm not real.**

**THANK YOU! **

**Ja~!**


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